Late Night Conversations
by Erithil
Summary: Sanji was forced to make a difficult decision, leaving him troubled about his actions. Featuring a depressed Sanji and a Zoro who tries his hand at counseling. A oneshot ZoroSanji friendship fic.


Author's notes: This story is a bit lengthy, I meant it to be short but somehow it just ballooned out of control. (grimace) It's a simple story that explores the odd sort of friendship Zoro has with Sanji from the swordsman's point of view, and also to address the question of Sanji's decision on this particular issue I've been wondering about for some time now. And to anyone waiting for the next chapter of the story "Predator", I'm sorry but you'll have to wait a bit more (deeply apologetic bow)…I thought I could juggle writing the Naruto fic alongside an OP one, but I am sorely mistaken. I'll try to get back to "Predator" as soon as I can.

In the meantime, enjoy this one-shot! (smile)

Disclaimer: One Piece and all characters mentioned are created by Eiichiro Oda. I just throw hypothetical situations at them and watch how they work things out. (grin)

**Late Night Conversations**

_Where in the world is that shithead? _

Zoro huffed out an impatient sigh, stopping for a moment to sweep his eyes once more across the deck. Their ship wasn't that big, and he had already checked all the places his crewmate would usually be in but that idiot was nowhere to be found. He was starting to think the cook had fallen off the ship when he finally sighted him at the stern.

Sanji was standing in the deep shadows cast by the moonlight against Nami's tangerine trees, black suit blended in so well with the darkness that he had missed him completely the first time he glanced that way.

_Troublesome idiot. Bet he did that on purpose. Trust him to choose a corner that is difficult for him to be spotted, just when I want to find him._

But perhaps he really doesn't want to be found, Zoro thought as he strode towards him, drawing closer such that he could see the distant look in the cook's eyes. A smoking cigarette dangled carelessly, almost as if forgotten, from one hand as he leaned against the railings, staring out to sea. The night air was chilly and Zoro could see that the cook's cheeks were turning ruddy with the sharp icy wind, but Sanji was oblivious.

In fact, he seemed so lost in thought he didn't even appear to notice the swordsman's presence. Zoro frowned.

"Oi. You should get inside. It's too windy out here."

Sanji jumped, startled but when he turned around and saw who had spoken, he scowled. "Get lost."

"Yeah well, I'd like to." Zoro growled in return. "But Chopper was worried and told me to come get you."

Something flickered briefly in the dark blue eyes but was gone before he could put a name to it. The cook turned and faced the sea again with a deliberate casualness, resting his elbows on the railings. "I'm not the only one who's injured." He said, his voice quiet and oddly lifeless. "Tell him not to worry."

Zoro raised an eyebrow, studying his crewmate. "But you're pretty banged up all the same." Sanji's face was very pale and he leaned against the railings a little more heavily than usual, as if he didn't feel strong enough to stand unaided. The wide swath of bandage wrapped around his head was visible despite his obvious effort to conceal it behind the fall of his blonde hair.

"Chopper's right. You really should go get some rest."

When he didn't answer, Zoro grew annoyed. "Oi! What's with you? Did you knock something loose when you bumped your head?" He grinned, falling back on the age-old insult. "Wait, you don't have anything but hormones in your head, do you?"

But Sanji didn't rise to the bait as he usually did. He only spared him an irritated sidelong glance.

"Idiot." He muttered, taking a deep drag of his cigarette, before falling silent again. He looked particularly pale and thin in his black suit, the line of his body taunt with tension. Something was really bothering him.

Zoro's frown deepened, feeling very uncomfortable. He was used to fighting and trading insults with the cook at the top of their voices. This quiet, moody Sanji unnerved him.

Yet when he thought about it, Sanji usually didn't say much anyway. It may sound odd considering how he was forever prattling about the girls, swooning over them and singing their praises. Nevertheless, he noticed the cook seldom gave voice to what he thinks, always hiding how he truly feels behind the curtain of blonde hair, a puff of cigarette smoke and a carefully schooled demeanor of nonchalance.

But Sanji would talk, eventually, if something really upset him, or when he was ready to. And he could see that the cook was getting there, staring pensively into the distance like that, one hand fiddling absently with the cuff of his shirt sleeves.

Zoro sighed and made a show of turning around, leaning back against the railings with an affected air of patience. He ignored the poisonous glare the cook shot at him and waited. The silence dragged out, at first sullenly, then thoughtfully.

Just when he thought the cook was never going to speak and he should just leave the idiot be and go to bed, his crewmate spoke.

"Is he okay?" Sanji said finally, almost reluctantly. His voice was less lifeless than before but with a hesitant lit that he had never heard from him before.

"Luffy?" Zoro shot him a questioning glance, surprised.

Sanji's whole body went rigid at the mention of their captain's name and the blonde head bobbed once, stiffly, in affirmative.

"Of course he's fine." Zoro scoffed. "You know Luffy, bounces like a rubber ball. He's asleep now." He rolled his eyes. "Snoring, if I might add."

The ghost of a smile flittered across Sanji's lips. "Good."

But that hint of mirth was gone as quickly as it had come; the blue eyes were still haunted as they turned back to stare down into the black depths of the ocean. Silence returned, thick and uneasy as before. Zoro studied his crewmate carefully out of the corner of his eye, musing over the cook's odd behavior, wondering about its cause.

Then, a sudden thought crossed his mind as he remembered what had happened earlier that day…

The storm had come upon them unexpectedly and it was only due to Nami's skill at reading the weather and her talent at navigation that they avoided taking the full brunt of it. But it was still one of the worst storms they had faced ever since entering the Grandline. Rain poured down in relentless sheets and sometimes hail fell as well, sending all of them scurrying for shelter. The sky was as black as night and when lightning cleaved the inky darkness, all that could be seen were angry black clouds that hung low in the sky and the endless stretch of churning ocean on all sides.

It felt to Zoro as though they were sailing blind through the murky gloom, no way to tell left from right, and sometimes it was even difficult to tell up from down. But Nami seemed to know and although the woman was most of the time bossy and sly, she had not failed them yet. So Zoro joined the rest of the crew in the mad rush to keep the ship righted, slipping as the waves sloshed over the deck and licked at their feet. Nami was yelling from the upper deck, her eyes fixed alternately on her Log Pose and the horizon, but they had to strain to hear her instructions over the deafening roar of the thunder and sea.

In the noise and confusion, Zoro was only dimly aware of where his nakama were. Luffy ran past him, a blurry streak of red in the downpour, leaping up to secure the tarp over the tangerine trees then disappeared to attend to some other task. The storm terrified Chopper greatly. He clung to the cook desperately with all his limbs until Sanji pried him off and sent him inside to help Robin with the helm with a reassuring pat on the head. Waves battered against the hull, as if demanding to be let in and left gaping holes below deck which Usopp sped off to mend, moaning about the state of 'his sweet Merry'. Zoro caught sight of the cook again later when he materialized beside him briefly to help secure the sails, his eyes determined and his footing sure as he climbed nimbly on the riggings. But his face was pale with fatigue and he brushed at his hair wearily as the wild winds blew the blond strands into his eyes. Zoro wondered if the cook noticed that there was a sizeable gash above his right eyebrow-most likely the result of a stray hailstone-trickling blood down the side of his face. But before he could comment on it, they had finished with the sails; Sanji gave him a perfunctory nod and a quick smirk before hurrying off to help Luffy salvage the cargo.

It was tough fight, trying to wrest their ship from the waves that threatened to drag it down to its watery grave. The storm raged for more than an hour and at the end of it, everyone was soaked, sore and thoroughly exhausted.

It was just their luck to finally sail out of the storm's perimeter, into calm seas and open skies once again-

-only to run right smack into the side of a Marine warship.

The collision had rocked the small caravel from bow to stern. Wood splintered and flew everywhere.

Zoro was almost flung off his feet. He steadied himself, took one look at the row of astonished faces on the other ship and he was moving. Cursing the Grandline's unpredictable weather and their bad luck, he was leaping onto the Marine ship, swords drawn before the Marines had time to recover.

With adrenaline from battling the storm still coursing through his veins, he threw himself into battle. His weary muscles protested the exertion and he relished the familiar burn of once again, testing the limits of his endurance. The Marines got over their shock quickly enough and surged forward to meet his attack with a roar. They must have shouted in panic for their captain, booted feet thundering across the deck must have filled the air as they rushed to organize the cannons.

But Zoro saw and heard none of it. His consciousness narrowed to a point where only his swords and the enemies in their starched white uniforms existed. The blades sang to him as they whistled through the air and he lost himself completely to the fight, savoring this perfect purity of crystallized awareness that only a good battle could bring.

It might have been the leftover excitement from the storm propelling him, or perhaps it was the frustration at the monotony of having a day too many at sea that drove him to let himself get so deeply absorbed in combat. It was only when an arm sprouted from his back and tapped him forcefully on the shoulder that he noticed Chopper's frantic cries. The arm tapped Zoro once more on the shoulder and pointed at the Going Merry, indicating the swordsman should return.

The Marines had thinned, most lay in a wide circle around him and those who remained standing were backing away from him warily as one would with a dangerous animal. Satisfied that their numbers were not enough to board their pirate ship and overrun it, Zoro headed back.

Chopper jumped at him and latched onto his leg immediately, his eyes round with terror and wet with tears. "Zoro! Quick…they're gone…I mean it's such a long time and…oh! Just hurry!"

"Wait! What? Who?" He asked bewildered, trying to shake the furry doctor off, unable to understand much from the tearful blubbering. But the little reindeer was crying too hard to form a coherent answer. Zoro sighed in frustration, looking to Nami for an answer. The navigator stood near the railings on the starboard side, staring intently down into the water, her hands curled into tight fists by her side. But she did not supply an answer nor look up, as if she did not hear them. Instead, she stood frozen, her face drawn and white.

"Swordsman-san…" Robin's calm voice spoke beside him, sounding a little distant as her attention was divided between growing arms to untangle them from the Marines ship at the same time unfurling the sails to catch the winds so that they can make their escape. "The Captain fell into the water and Cook-san went after him." She spared him a brief somber glance. "Neither had surfaced for quite a while."

"What!" His eyes went wide with alarm, throwing down his swords and running for the side of the ship. "Why didn't someone say something before?"

The last thing he caught sight of was her infuriatingly cool smile as he sprinted past. Her quietly amused reply followed him down as he dove into the sea. "We never had the chance."

The water was cold and dark as it closed around him but to his relief, their missing crewmates were not hard to find. Sunlight filtered through the water, casting a sort of shifting hazy illumination but it was enough for Zoro catch sight of them a few feet below the surface, with the dark shape of the hull of the ship still visible above him. But it was the unnatural stillness in the two figures that bothered him.

Zoro frowned as he swam towards his crewmates. His captain, he knew, was dead-weight once he hit the water but Sanji usually swum like a fish. To see him suspended almost lifelessly underwater, one limp hand still encircling Luffy's wrist, his golden hair floating at an angle away from his head was rather unsettling.

With a firm hold on both of his crewmates and a few powerful kicks, Zoro brought them to the surface, passing them to the Robin's waiting arms to be carried up onto the ship. A rope ladder was let down for him and he climbed up, in time to see Luffy spitting up a huge geyser of water then bursting out in delighted laughter, thrilled at the narrow escape. The cook was unconscious but breathing, and when Chopper started probing at the wound on his forehead, his eyes snapped open and he sat up, looking around frantically.

Spotting Luffy beside him, his entire frame sagged with relief. Then he looked away, an unreadable emotion flickering briefly across his face. He shook his head, offering a tired smile to Chopper's anxious questions and closed his eyes wearily.

With his crewmates all accounted for, the weather reasonably decent and the ship finally disentangled from the Marine vessel enough to be on its way once again, Zoro collected his swords and stalked off to the bunk for a nap.

Later, as Chopper tended to some of the scrapes he had sustained in the fight with the Marines, the young doctor had chatted eagerly about their latest little adventure as he often did. Zoro listened drowsily with vague interest.

"…and Luffy and Nami both fell into the sea!" The diminutive reindeer went on excitedly as he cleaned the cuts with practiced ease. "Usopp was still busy below decks and Robin and I can't swim. I was so scared!" He shuddered with the memory, his brown eyes growing large with fear. "Luckily, Sanji was there and he immediately jumped in after them."

He tied off the last of the bandages and sat silent for a bit, staring at the floor. "I guess Sanji should have tried to get Luffy first, since he couldn't swim." Chopper admitted softly, his voice small. "But Nami should not have yelled at him like that." Their youngest crewmate nodded seriously, frowning in consternation. "Sanji was very nice to worry for her and save her first, while he had been hurt in the storm too!"

"Nami is very scary when she yells like that." He said, shivering.

Zoro barked out a laugh. "That woman is the devil itself!" Then seeing Chopper's wide awe-filled eyes, realizing the doctor usually took things a bit too literally, he quickly clarified, "I mean Nami can be real nasty sometimes, but she doesn't mean any harm. You shouldn't be scared of her." The reindeer giggled and nodded, happily recounting the times the navigator was nice to him…

Zoro narrowed his eyes at the cook standing beside him. Danger and near-deaths were common occurrences in a pirate's life and the day's events had already started to recede in his mind even when he had spoken to Chopper earlier. In fact, he had not thought more about it since.

_Damn! Don't tell me he feels responsible!_ He thought, feeling frustrated at Sanji's stupid convoluted logic and mildly disgusted at the cook's tendencies to be melodramatic, especially when Nami was concerned. The swordsman resisted the urge to roll his eyes. For all he knew, Sanji was moping because his precious Nami-san had said some harsh words to him.

"Oi, cook. Luffy's fine, okay? And it's not your fault." Zoro flashed his crewmate a tight grin, trying to lighten the mood. "Luffy gets into trouble most of the time with absolutely no help at all anyway."

Sanji did not answer him immediately and gave no sign he had heard him at all. Instead, he took a slow drag of his cigarette and gazed out contemplatively into the dark night. When he spoke, his voice was more serious than he had ever sounded. "You've always said that all my devotion to the ladies would come to a bad end, idiot-marimo." He shook his head slowly with a small mirthless laugh. "Never thought I'll see the day, but I've got to admit you're right."

"Yeah well, you…I…" Zoro growled then stopped and frowned, uncertain what to say to. He did not like the tone of self-deprecation in his Sanji's voice. True, the cook's antics at trying to please their female crewmates grated on his nerves often enough but the complaints and snide remarks were not meant to be anything other than to poke fun at Sanji. He hadn't the slightest idea the cook even heard them, much less take them to heart and be upset by them.

"Our loyalty lies with the captain, our first duty should always be to him." The cook went on quietly, almost as if he had forgotten about Zoro's presence. "But today, I-" His head bowed, his throat worked as he swallowed convulsively a few times, his breathing turning harsh. The dark guilt that twisted his features was almost tangible, a heavy sinister presence that seemed to be suffocating him.

The words came tumbling out in a rush, thick with anger and hatred the cook directed at himself. "Luffy is my captain! He should always be my first concern! But…but when I saw Nami-san in danger, I just _reacted_. I didn't think, I _couldn't _think!"

"The worst thing is that I can't help the way I am! I wish I'm different but I can't! I can't stop myself for putting the ladies before anyone else!"

He fell silent and stood motionless for a while, just drawing deep breaths as if to calm himself down. His voice, when he next spoke, was hoarse with pain and trembling with emotion. "And back at the Baratie…the fight…what he said…the things he did…how he had helped me…everything! You can't imagine how much I owe him!" The cigarette fell from his fingers as he curled his hands around the wooden bar of the railing instead, his eyes flint hard and bitter. "And this is how I repay him."

"If Luffy had died today-" He choked sharply, looking away abruptly, and closed his eyes in anguish.

Zoro stared at his crewmate in mute horror.

_Oh shit! He's crying…_

It wasn't that Zoro had never seen Sanji cry before. He distinctly remembered being annoyed with the loud bawling and flood of tears the cook displayed when Nami had been gravely ill. But at that time, he knew it was more of a form of catharsis for the worry the blonde was feeling, combined with a slight indulgence in a show of dramatics the cook was so fond of. Now, looking at the tears squeezing past the closed lids to make silvery tracks down the pale cheeks, he wanted badly to be able to laugh at his crewmate's overly-romantic nature, or perhaps make some insult to rile his companion up until the cook lash out at him and start a fight, but he found that he couldn't.

Not like this.

Not with Sanji turned away from him like he was ashamed, his hands gripped around the railings so hard like he was trying to stop from hurting himself, his thin shoulders taunt with strain and shaking as he tried to force every sob down his throat to keep them silent.

But every soft sound that did escape was filled with so much pain, despair and self-loathing, it made him cringe to hear it.

Like _her_ tears once did…

In another place, in another time…

Suddenly, he was back in the middle of the endless field on that balmy summer night.

The wind ruffling through long grass was sweet with the smell of drying hay and the lingering trace of late spring flowers. It was cool against his sweat-damp skin, but did little to sooth the burning shame of his two-thousandth-and-one defeat. She sat with her knees drawn up, folding in on herself, crying softly as her small hands curled tightly around her sword. Her black eyes were dark with misery and luminous with tears as she looked up at him.

'How nice it is to be a boy, Zoro…' Her voice was sad, stricken with a kind of despair and helplessness he hated to hear from her. 'I wish I was born a boy…'

Zoro started out of his memory, still staring at the cook.

To see him like this, to hear the words he had uttered echoing something far in the distant past…the way he hated himself…hated the way he was…

Something clicked inside him and he suddenly realized why he had always felt such great annoyance with the cook-the man was practically the bane of his existence!-yet still felt an inexplicable sense of familiarity about him. There was this sense of closeness, an unspoken understanding between them which Zoro had failed to recognize, and even now, was reluctant to acknowledge.

Sanji filled the void Kuina had left.

He was the greatest enemy and the best friend rolled into one, and somehow that is better than if he were either alone.

But like that time with Kuina, seeing his friend cry made him nervous.

And Zoro found, exactly as he did on that night of promises, he babbled when he was nervous.

"Erm…look, you can't help the way you are right? Luffy really doesn't care…and Nami, well, she can be real mean sometimes…" He raked a hand through his short green hair, frustrated that he couldn't seem to be able to say what he wanted to, getting more flustered and tangled up in his words. "…I mean you're not a bad sort of guy…you're kind and nice-not to me of course!-but most times you are…and you went after Nami first is because you care-maybe a bit too much-but you care! And that makes you a great person so…what the _hell_ are you staring at, shithead!" He finally exploded.

Sanji had regained his composure and was looking fixedly at him, his face impassive.

"Zoro," The cook dead-panned. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm straight."

"You…what! I mean…I…you…" Zoro spluttered, until he caught a glimpse of the small quirk of amusement by the corner of the cook's lips and realized the idiot was joking with him. "Why you lousy bastard!" He roared angrily, swinging out a punch at his crewmate, yet couldn't help feel a tiny sense of relief at the back of his mind that the cook had recovered enough of his spirits to poke fun at him like this.

Sanji laughed out loud, a bright mirthful sound. He stepped back, raising a leg to deflect the blow effortlessly and returned the assault with a sharp kick to Zoro's ribs.

Breath left Zoro's lungs in a rush. He crouched, panting a bit to get his breath back and glared at his crewmate.

"Shitty cook!" He growled.

"Idiot swordsman." Sanji returned easily with equal venom, the hard sole of his shoe making a dull thud on the deck as he lowered his leg, but the faint smile on his face made the words sound almost fond.

Zoro straightened, a slow smile spreading on his own face. This was familiar. This he knew how to deal. This smug, arrogant, bastard of a cook.

But there was still a shadow of that haunted look in Sanji's eye and the slender hands trembled a little as he cupped them to light a fresh cigarette. He tilted his head back and exhaled deeply, his eyes hooded. The jovial mood a moment earlier seemed to rise with the plume of smoke, dissipating into the cold night wind, leaving only a sober silence in its wake.

"I wouldn't have preferred it if it had been the other way, you know." The quiet admission left his lips before Zoro had even thought about it.

"Eh?" Sanji cast him a sidelong glance, clearly puzzled. "What rubbish are you going on about now?"

He scowled at the cook. "I'm just trying to say that I wouldn't have wanted you to save Luffy first, if it meant Nami would drown." He bit out angrily.

The cook blinked at him, surprised. But he looked away quickly, guilt shadowing his face once more. "Yeah, but the Captain is our main concern. It's our duty to protect him." He murmured around his cigarette. "Bet if it were you, you'll do the right thing and save Luffy first." He laughed bitterly. "Che! I bet you'll find a way to save both of them at the same time!"

Zoro's eyebrow twitched and he resisted the urge to punch the cook in the head. The idiot was missing the point entirely!

"Damn you, you shitty cook." He cursed but tried to explain better. "I mean we're all in this together, right? Captain is captain but we're still nakama and all that shit, right? Yeah so, I mean…"

He growled and gave up at Sanji's totally clueless look. Then he sighed, braced one hand on the railing and gazed out into the sea.

"We're all nakama, I wouldn't want anyone of us to die." He said softly, grudgingly, staring resolutely into the dark water so he didn't have to look at Sanji. "Not Luffy, not Nami-"

-not _you_."

He looked up and couldn't help grin at Sanji's flabbergasted expression. "Bastard, next time, remember to spare a thought for yourself before you launch into heroics, okay?"

The cook's face melted into a smile. The light was back in his blue eye.

"Hn." He pursed his lips, tapping ash from the tip of his cigarette lazily. The smile changed into a smirk as he nudged Zoro teasingly with an elbow. "Says the man who charges into battle like he's got a death wish."

Zoro shrugged and sniggered. That started Sanji off as well and they laughed together for a while, chuckling quietly so that the noise wouldn't carry in the still night and disturb their resting crewmates.

An inexplicable sense of relief filled Zoro as he glanced at his companion, noting how most of the tension had left the lean frame and the mirth dancing in one shining blue eye.

_This_ was their Sanji, the bright-eyed, cheerful-although often annoying, thoughtful idiot of a cook. Not the self-deprecating mess he had found earlier.

The cook recovered first from their unexpected bout of laughter, but he was still smiling as he turned towards Zoro. "Well, I-" He started to say, then froze at the sight of something behind the swordsman.

Zoro spun around, one hand already reaching for the hilt of his sword.

"Um, Sanji-kun?" Nami looked painfully embarrassed with her hands clasped nervously behind her back and drawing circles absently with the toe of her sandal on the deck. "Can I speak with you for a minute?" When Zoro didn't budge, she flashed him a nasty look and said pointedly. "_Alone._"

The swordsman grinned and blinked in mock ignorance as he considered briefly on staying, just to spite Nami. It wasn't often he got to see their proud navigator humbled and remorseful. For all the times she had bullied them around, making his life miserable with her scheming ways and never-ending reminders of the money he owed her, he had half a mind to stick around and gloat, just so it'll make her apology that much more difficult.

He smirked, whistling a jaunty tune as he looked around innocently, pretending he hadn't heard her.

"_Zoro!_" She hissed, hands bunching into fists by her side.

The pleading note in her voice made him relent. That, and Sanji's strained expression. The cook stood tensed, adjusting his tie nervously as his eye flickered back and forth anxiously from one crewmate to the other. He looked caught between wanting Zoro to leave so he'll have some private time with his Nami-san and unease at the dreaded thought of being left alone with the woman.

"Oh, alright! I'm going." He started walking lazily towards the cabin, turning a little to clasp Sanji briefly on the shoulder in a show of support as he passed him and gave Nami a warning look when their eyes met over the cook's shoulder.

She nodded.

The last thing Zoro saw before he disappeared below deck was the two dark figures of his crewmates, tangerine and gold heads bent close in conversation. Nami was speaking, though they were too far away to be heard, her eyes gentle and concerned. With his hands in his pockets, Sanji listened quietly, shaking his head occasionally at whatever their navigator said. But even from a distance, the swordsman could see the remaining tension melting off him as forgiveness was both sought and given.

And when Sanji swooned and practically keeled over as Nami laid a warm hand on his arm, Zoro rolled his eyes and knew the idiot cook was going to be all right.

Later, he would pretend to be asleep when Sanji finally come into the cabin. He would pretend he didn't know the cook stood by his hammock for a moment, the silence loud with his unspoken thanks.

He would not reply with a 'you're welcome' because he knew, the cook would have heard him anyway.


End file.
